Awesome Vegas vacation with Kassem G featuring the Shay Carl look alike, the flannel,eye glass wearing Kassem G clones and don't forget the wild drunk girl who got her boobs signed.
Metro PCS Techno Commercial
You've gotta love the East Indian Guy dancing techno in this new Metro PCS TV commercial!!
Tornadoes and Women
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
Kinds of Sex
here are four kinds of sex :
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
Goblin
One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies
"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"
"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies
"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"
Curious Son
A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. "Mom", the boy asks, "What's a pussy?"
The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says "Son, that is a pussy." the son then asks "What's a bitch?" The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says "Son, this is a bitch."
The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says "Dad, what's a pussy?" The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says "Son, this is a pussy!"
The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks "Then, what is a bitch?"
The dad replies, "That's everything outside the circle!"
The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says "Son, that is a pussy." the son then asks "What's a bitch?" The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says "Son, this is a bitch."
The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says "Dad, what's a pussy?" The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says "Son, this is a pussy!"
The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks "Then, what is a bitch?"
The dad replies, "That's everything outside the circle!"
Kassem G California On Uncut
Kassem G with his raw and uncut footage of the awesome moments of California On.See these wild awesome lesbians kiss and make out.
Sobering Tattoo Commercial (Hilarious)
A serious yet, funny sounding Tattoo and piercing commercial about thinking twice getting inked or poked with holes.
Modern Definitions of Terms
ADULTERY - The wrong people doing the right thing.
ALIMONY - The screwing you get for the screwing you got.
BABY - A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end and a complete lack of responsibility at the other end.
CANNIBAL - One who is apt to pass his best friend.
CHIVALRY - A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.
CONSCIENCE - That which hurts when everything else feels so good.
CONSTIPATION - To have and to hold.
COOKIE - A virgin doughnut.
DANCE - A Naval engagement without the loss of seamen.
DIVORCE - What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer.
DECOY - A flashlight in the pants pocket.
DIARY - Book of revelations.
DOCTOR - A lucky fellow who is privileged to undress women and go all over them without getting his face slapped.
ENEMA - A goose with a gush.
EXPLORATION - Beating around the bush.
FATHER'S DAY - Nine months before labor day.
GENTLEMAN - One who is always careful to rest at least half his weight on his elbows.
GIGGALO - The egg that laid the golden Goose.
GLAMOUR GIRL - a much publicized young thing who is full of oomf, and frequently full of other things; one who doesn't worry about the meat shortage.
HORSE SHOW - A lot of horses showing their asses to a lot of horses' asses showing their horses.
HUSBAND - What is left after the nerve has been killed.
KEPT WOMAN - One who wears mink all day and fox all night.
HUNG CHOW - Chinese constipation.
A KISS - Upper persuasion for lower invasion; upstairs shopping for downstairs merchandise.
MASTURBATION - A solo played on a private organ.
METALLURGIST - A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or a common ore.
MINUTE MAN - One who double parks while he visits a sporting house.
MORNING - The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises.
MOTHER'S DAY - Nine months after fathers day.
DONKEY BARBECUE- Where everybody gets a piece of ass.
NUN - A woman who ain't never had none, don't want none, and ain't going to get none.
NURSE - A pan handler.
NURSERY - A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit.
PAPOOSE - Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.
PIMP - A crack salesman; a nookie bookie.
RHUMBA - An asset to music.
SECRETARY - A stenographer who watches her periods.
SIN - Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don't.
SISSY - A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak.
SPRING FEVER - When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil.
STORK - The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies.
TAXIDERMIST - A man who mounts animals.
TOMCAT - A ball bearing mouse trap.
TRIPLETS - Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun.
VISE - Anything you enjoy that is bad for you.
VIRGINITY - A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it's gone forever.
VIRGIN WOOL - Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder.
ALIMONY - The screwing you get for the screwing you got.
BABY - A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end and a complete lack of responsibility at the other end.
CANNIBAL - One who is apt to pass his best friend.
CHIVALRY - A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.
CONSCIENCE - That which hurts when everything else feels so good.
CONSTIPATION - To have and to hold.
COOKIE - A virgin doughnut.
DANCE - A Naval engagement without the loss of seamen.
DIVORCE - What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer.
DECOY - A flashlight in the pants pocket.
DIARY - Book of revelations.
DOCTOR - A lucky fellow who is privileged to undress women and go all over them without getting his face slapped.
ENEMA - A goose with a gush.
EXPLORATION - Beating around the bush.
FATHER'S DAY - Nine months before labor day.
GENTLEMAN - One who is always careful to rest at least half his weight on his elbows.
GIGGALO - The egg that laid the golden Goose.
GLAMOUR GIRL - a much publicized young thing who is full of oomf, and frequently full of other things; one who doesn't worry about the meat shortage.
HORSE SHOW - A lot of horses showing their asses to a lot of horses' asses showing their horses.
HUSBAND - What is left after the nerve has been killed.
KEPT WOMAN - One who wears mink all day and fox all night.
HUNG CHOW - Chinese constipation.
A KISS - Upper persuasion for lower invasion; upstairs shopping for downstairs merchandise.
MASTURBATION - A solo played on a private organ.
METALLURGIST - A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or a common ore.
MINUTE MAN - One who double parks while he visits a sporting house.
MORNING - The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises.
MOTHER'S DAY - Nine months after fathers day.
DONKEY BARBECUE- Where everybody gets a piece of ass.
NUN - A woman who ain't never had none, don't want none, and ain't going to get none.
NURSE - A pan handler.
NURSERY - A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit.
PAPOOSE - Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.
PIMP - A crack salesman; a nookie bookie.
RHUMBA - An asset to music.
SECRETARY - A stenographer who watches her periods.
SIN - Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don't.
SISSY - A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak.
SPRING FEVER - When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil.
STORK - The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies.
TAXIDERMIST - A man who mounts animals.
TOMCAT - A ball bearing mouse trap.
TRIPLETS - Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun.
VISE - Anything you enjoy that is bad for you.
VIRGINITY - A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it's gone forever.
VIRGIN WOOL - Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder.
I'm At Work New Boyz You're A Jerk (Parody)
This a funny hip hop video about work. Such a funny video by Keith From Up The Block.
