Scene: 1996 Miss Universe pageant in Las Vegas. Host Bob Barker introducing the candidates.
Bob: Please welcome, Miss Canada!
Galing sa isang kasuluksulukan ng auditorium, a voice screams "Subterranean!"
Bob: Please welcome, Miss France!
Voice: Subterranean!
Bob: Please welcome, Miss Italy!
Voice: Subterranean!
Bob: Now, please welcome, Miss Papua New Guinea!
- Silence -
Bob: Please welcome, Miss USA!
Voice: Suuuub-teeerranean! Yah-hoo!!!
Bob: Please welcome, Miss Zaire!
- Silence -
During intermission, Bob was really curious why the voice was shouting "subterranean", so he dispatched a guard to fetch the fellow and bring him backstage. They picked up the guy who turns out to be a Filipino (from a remote barrio) who didn't speak English. So they got an interpreter to ask the Pinoy why he was shouting "Subterranean". Bob asked... "Did you mean Mediterranean? Or Carribean? And why do I seem to keep on hearing Subterranean?"
Sabi ng Pinoy: "Wala akong sinasabing "subterranean". Ang sabi ko, SARAP TIRAHIN NIYAN!"
Subterrenean
Miss Universe
The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion
THE FINALISTS:
Ms. America
Ms. Spain
Ms. Britain
Ms. Iran
Ms. India
Ms. Philippines
QUESTION: Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. AMERICA: Well, I would say that , male organs in America are like gentlemen.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman.
(Applause...Applause)
QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MS. SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.
(Applause....Applause)
QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance.
(Applause...Applause)
QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. IRAN: Well. I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.
QUESTION: And why do you say that?
MS. IRAN: Because they always enter through the back door.
(Applause...Applause)
QUESTION: Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. INDIA: Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a laborer.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MS. INDIA: Because it works day & night.
(Applause...Applause)
QUESTION: Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. PHILIPPINES: Ahh... well, opcors, hihihi... I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis!
QUESTION: Chismis?
MS. PHILIPPINES: Ayy! Sorry... it's ano, ahh kuwan... it means GOSSIP in our language.
QUESTION: Hmm... interesting comparison. And why do you say that?
MS. PHILIPPINES: Ayy... dyahe! Hihihi! Kasi... I mean... Because... it passes from mouth to mouth.
(STANDING OVATION!)
