The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!
I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.
A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck.
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!
My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.
There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one?
You know what would look good on you? Me!
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Funny Pickup Lines Part 1
Text Messaging Short Cuts
Some Text Messaging Short Cuts
TB - Text Back
TT - Text Tayo
TTLAKI - Text Tayo Later AKo Intay
KKLIIT - Kuripot Ka, Lagi Intay Ikaw Text
PUKIMO - Pag Uwi Ko I-text Mo ko, Okey?
Rape Self-defense
Atty: Kung totoo ginahasa ka ng nasakdal bakit
gumiling ka pa daw pagpasok ng ari niya?
Babe: Atty naman part nag Self Defense lang yan, para
labasan at maghihina siya agad!!
Almost Sex
Apo: Lolo, how often do you have sex with lola?
Lolo: Aba! Almost everyday!
Apo: Wow! ang lakas nyo pa pala
Lolo: Kanina nga eh….ALMOST na naman!
Pakwan at Melon
Man approaches a pretty chinese girl at a fruitstand.
Man: Miss, PAKWAN nga…..
Girl: Solly…mistel MELON ako ngayon!
Negros Sugar
Titser: ano ang main product ng Negros?
Totoy: di ko alam.
Titser: puwes, bigyan kita ng clue. Saan galing ang
asukal na ginagamit nyo?
Totoy: Sa kapitbahay po.
Rape Victim
Sa isang madilim na eskinita may nire-rape:
Babae: Tulong! Tulong!
Rapist: wag ka nang humingi ng tulong, kaya ko itong
mag-isa. Gusto mo pa marami kami ha!
MALANDI KA!
The Prefix "bi"
English teacher to Erap: The prefix “bi” is used to describe things that come in twos like-bicycle, bifocal and binary. Can you give me an example?
Erap: Ma’am, bayag!!
