Lolo's US Visa Application

THIS IS A GOOD ONE AND I AM SURE YOU'LL LOVE IT.

A 70 year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied by his grandson
to the US Embassy in Manila for his VISA interview. The lolo spoke not
a word of English so the grandson translated for him.

The consul told the young man to ask his grandfather why he wanted to
go to the States. "Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?" the
grandson translated. "Sabihin mo gusto kong makita yung mga anak ko
doon." "He said he wants to see his children there." Fair enough,
that's what the lolo's application indicated.

The consul had another question. "Ask him, why does he have to go
there? Why can't his children just come and visit him here?" The
grandson translated this in Tagalog. Lolo replied: Sabihin mo kasi dito
pinanganak yung mga anak ko. Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako mamatay." Translation: "Tell him, my children were born here. They have seen the Philippines already. I just want to see America before I die."

The heartless consul was unimpressed as he declared, devoid of any
emotion, that he was rejecting the visa application because the applicant
was unable to speak a word of English. "Reject daw yung visa ninyo
kasi hindi daw kayo marunong mag-Ingles." The lolo was equally unimpressed. "Sabihin mo ito sa kanya at huwag mong papalitan ang sasabihin ko. Putang ina niya, bakit siya nandidito eh hindi naman siya marunong mag-Tagalog." Translated: "He said: you son of a bitch, how come you are here... you do not know how to speak in Tagalog."

Taken aback, sense of humor still intact, the consul relented and
approved lolo's visa application pronto.